Thursday, 30 April 2009

An attitude of graditude!


My mate Les typed his status on Facebook as being 'Thankful'. Well that got me thinking once again, just how much I complain about stuff and don't focus enough on what I'm thankful for. At the moment I've an underarm abscess - battled with this a few years back and had to go to hospital to have it cut open (it was excruciating!). Fortunately I think I've caught this one early enough for the antibiotics to wipe it out. Anyway, my motion is pretty limited with my arm and it's driving me up the wall (I need to be doing stuff!). So instead of focusing on how frustrated I feel, I'm taking time to type to people (with my good hand) words of encouragement as I'm truly thankful for their input into my life. I'm also enjoying hanging out with God and soaking up His goodness - detailing all the things I'm so thankful for!

My dad's been a paraplegic from he was 17 years old and is paralysed from the waist down. I always thought I understood how difficult (understatement!) life was for him - until I ended up in a wheelchair in New York airport (long story about a spider bite, leg swelling and not being able to walk for a few days!) and then I discovered I hadn't had a clue how hard it was for him. I wept in his arms when I got home as the small insight into his world broke my heart. Be thankful. And then focus on how you can help ease someone else's pain.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." — Sir Winston Churchill

“Think of a slingshot. What determines how far a stone from a slingshot will fly? The answer is: “how far back you’ve pulled the band on the slingshot.” If you study the lives of successful people, you will find that their success was not in spite of their life challenges but often because of them. They took what happened to them and used it to help them grow. They stopped telling everyone how much they were wronged and began to look for the blessings in their challenges. And looking, they found them. Their sling shot was pulled back far, but as a result, they soared even farther.” - Will Bowen

“You can complain because roses have thorns; or you can rejoice because thorns have roses”—Ziggy

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Antinomianism


Antinomianism - yes I know, big word for me! Let me explain, the basic premise of antinomianism is that we love God and do what the heart wants. The misconception is that if we love God we will inevitably do what's right. In other words, it will all work out in the end, just pray a little harder. Can I be blunt? If we are embracing this theological virus, it will infect us with such a poisonous, warped view of Christianity.
Our society is challenging our faith from every angle. We study theology, attend church, develop our leadership/preaching skills, attend the conferences. When that which we thought would never happen, knocks on our door, let us not catch ourselves saying, "I didn't know what to do". We can't afford to just cross our fingers and hope for the best when dealing with people's lives. And I'm not just talking about those in ministry positions - we are all called, as believers, to 'one anothering', therefore we are all in a position of caring for people. Arm yourself with the Truth, take the necessary steps in developing your knowledge base, discuss issues with leaders, seek the heart of God - do whatever it takes to move away from what 'feels' good and right to anchoring yourself in the Word (it stands true forever, it's the plumb-line, it's our guide, a light to our path) and seeking Godly wisdom from experts in whatever area you are dealing with.
Let's represent our Jesus with excellence!

Are you there God?








The task I gave my class (20 7-8 year olds) was to draw what you think God looks like. Very interesting results!!! I particularly like the one with the earrings!
I also asked the class, if they could ask God one question, what would it be? Here are a selection of the questions they would ask...

*Why can't I be God?
*When I get hurt can you heal it fast?
*Why did Jesus have to die for us? (I didn't want him to have to die)
*Why are bugs small?
*What's it like in heaven?
*Are you smarter than the devil?
*When I die will I go to heaven?
*How did you invent people?
*How old are you?
*When I am bad do you forgive?
*How did you make the world?
*How did Jesus come alive again?
*Can you take all my sins away?
*Do you love me?
*Could I disappear?
*If you don't like fights, why was there fights like David and Goliath?


Good stuff isn't it???
I've been in Alpha on Monday night, and I tell you, the questions asked there are very similar! Alpha is a great platform for discussing these questions and discovering God the person, not God the religion.

My class continually keep me on my toes!!!

Saturday, 25 April 2009

Bare faced cheek!!!

It started off like any other Saturday morning...however this morning Dave dropped me off at Paul Meekin's for my facial while Emily had her music practice. Now that was the good part - all thanks to the beautiful Alison who pampered me within an inch of my life! Glorious!

Now the bad part...Dave forgot his mobile so I had no way of contacting him when I was finished to come and pick me up. That's ok I thought, sure I'm fit and healthy, I'll walk up the long, long road to meet them at Grosvenor Grammar. What did I forget?? After a facial, you are STRIPPED of your make-up. Stripped of my mask, my face, my cover of imperfections! For those who know me well will understand how this nearly gave me heart failure! I never leave the house without at least foundation, lip-gloss and eye-liner. Alas, I didn't even think to bring any with me (I assumed I would be jumping into the car in a flash and whizzing back home to my sanctuary!)

So there I was, my face TOTALLY NAKED!!!! walking down the road. Now I know how Adam & Eve felt! I kept my head down, didn't make any eye-contact and tried to cover most of my face with my hair! The sun was shining, I was warm and relaxed but felt wick with my bare bake! However, then I started to just ponder on how much importance we place on our appearance and what people think of us. It occurred to me I was in East Belfast where people don't know me or care what I look like...hmmmmm...I started to feel a wee bit safer...I started to actually look at people as they passed by. I smiled at one lady and to my relief she didn't scream and run in the opposite direction, she smiled back! I started to feel even more confident. I looked at people in their cars, they didn't look repulsed to see me either. So (and I still can't believe I did it) I shopped in the chemist and had a conversation with the shop-assistant, I went into a VERY expensive furniture shop and ended up witnessing to the shop-assistant there and telling her all about our woman's conference (she gave me her phone number for more details about the church!) and I bought concert tickets...all with my face naked and bare!!!

This isn't just about make-up...I sense God is doing something deeper here. My cover-up tricks to stop people seeing the 'real' me sometimes do me damage. I'm now daring to let others see the naked, bare heart inside me. I hope they don't run away screaming!!!!

Friday, 24 April 2009

Give it time


I have been incredibly blessed with fantastic friends - these girls would move heaven and earth for me (and I would do the same for them). I have a wonderful church and family and these girls are like the cherry on the cake of my life! They have been there through ups and downs and always encouraged and supported me - they are like sisters! (and because I'm an only child that is even more precious to me)

Relationships take time to develop...in fact all great accomplishments take time. The sculptor who carved Mount Rushmore was once asked if he did a perfect job of sculpting the faces of the four presidents. "No," he replied. "The nose of George Washington is about an inch too long, but it's okay. In a thousand years, erosion will make it just right." Talk about a good perspective on time. He understood that great achievements don't happen overnight. Sometimes, you have to wait a long time to see the results of your hard work.
It's easy to put too much stock in a single event. It's not one meeting, one lecture, or one presentation that makes us into great achievers; it's the process. It's the time we spend day in and day out--working diligently even when we're not seeing any results--that makes the difference.

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Be like a child!



NO CHILDREN WERE HURT IN THE SHOOTING OF THIS PHOTO!
I recently held a Stone-Age day for my class (just before Easter) and we transformed the room into caves, made weapons, made clay pots, did some weaving, ground corn etc - generally we made history fun! So there I am, engaged in a pretend battle with some of my boys, when the camera clicks! Looking at the photo today I realised I may be perceived as an idiot. I love my class dearly (really!) and I'm just as committed to creating memories with them as I am with my own daughter. I riverdanced for them on St. Patrick's Day, I scared them with a rubber rat on April Fools, I shower them with gifts at Christmas, Easter, end of term, I sing to them, I speak in silly accents to cheer them up, I get down on my hands and knees and play lego, I tell jokes to keep them interested, I move the tables back and turn the room into a dancefloor/stage/gym/chillout zone, I listen to them (perhaps that the best thing I do for them!) - all because I love them! For 10 months of the year they are my children. There's nothing better than walking down the street and have a past pupil (all grown up) run and throw their arms around me because they are so pleased to see me! Yes, this frequently happens!
I love it all because during those times I'm not just their teacher, I'm a child again. I'm getting ready to take about 20 of them to Liverpool at the start of June and I can't wait! This will be the 5th time I've been away with the kids from school and it's a blast! NO sleep, junk food, shopping, games, chatting, dancing, drama, loads of brill stuff!
You know what, when life gets me down I go out on my daughter's trampoline and bounce, I make puppets with my class and act out silly scenarios, I sing loudly, I dance madly, I laugh until the pain eases. Be like a child...let yourself go!!!

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count


This is a photo I stumbled across while clearing out my computer - it's my daughter (acting the 'star') in her nursery nativity play 8 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday! I love photographs and how they capture moments in time while we make memories.
Imagine there is a bank which credits your account each morning with £86,400, carries over no balance from day to day, allows you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day. What would you do?
Well, everyone has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the records of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the “tomorrow.” You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, joy and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of today . . .

To realize the value of ONE YEAR:
Ask a student who has failed his final exam.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE DAY:
Ask a daily wage laborer who has ten kids to feed.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE:
Ask a person who has missed the plane.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND:
Ask a person who has just missed an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

I'll become even more undignified than this!!!!


On Easter Sunday morning our worship team played 'When I Survey' (Bluetree style!)I was reading the words of Isaac Watts, who wrote the hymn, and who was pretty big on worship and the heart.
He wrote “God values not the service of men, if the heart be not in it: The Lord sees and judges the heart; he has no regard to outward forms of worship, if there be no inward adoration, if no devout affection be employed therein. It is therefore a matter of infinite importance, to have the whole heart engaged steadfastly for God.”

It's a great reminder in a culture which is sometimes far more concerned with the outward appearance. We can 'appear' to be on fire, giving it all we've got - but if our hearts are 'off' it's all just noise.

Tim Hughes says “Worship is the total alignment of our heart, soul, mind and strength with the will of God. It is our whole-hearted response to God’s extravagant love and mercy.” Love that!!!!

Roy McClenaghan (pastor of Word of Faith) has taught us over the years the Hebrew words for praise. When you study them, you discover praise and worship is passionate, undignified, wild, abandoned, free - here are some of the different ways people in the OT praised God...
Barak
to kneel or bow, to give reverence to God as an act of adoration, implies a continual conscious giving place to God, to be attuned to him and his presence
Guwl
to spin around, under the influence of any violent emotion
Hallal
to praise, to make a show or rave about, to glory in or boast upon, to be clamorously foolish about you adoration of God
Ranan
to creak, to emit a stridulous sound, to shout aloud for joy
Shachah
to depress or prostrate in homage or loyalty to God, bow down, fall down flat
Shuwr
strolling minstrelsy, to sing, singer (man or woman)
Tehillah
to sing hallal, a new song, a hymn of spontaneous praise glorifying God in song
Todah
an extension of the hand, avowal, adoration, a choir of worshipers, confession, sacrifice of praise, thanksgiving
Yadah
to use, hold out the hand, to throw (a stone or arrow) at or away, to revere or worship (with extended hands, praise thankful, thanksgiving)
Zamar
to touch the strings or parts of a musical instrument i.e. play upon it, to make music accompanied by the voice, to celebrate in song and music, give praise, sing forth praises, psalms
Alats
to jump for joy, exult, be joyful, rejoice, triumph
Alaz
to jump for joy, exult, be joyful, rejoice, triumph
Anah
to eye or to heed, pay attention, to respond, to begin to speak, to sing, shout, testify, announce, give, account, afflict
Calal
to mound up, exalt, reflex, to oppose, cast up, exalt (self), extol, make plain, raise up
Caphar
to score with a mark, to inscribe, to enumerate, recount, celebrate, show forth, speak, talk, tell
Chagag
to move in a circle, to march in a sacred procession, to observe a festival, to be giddy, celebrate, dance, to keep or hold a solemn feast (holiday), to reel to and fro
Chuwl
to twist or whirl in a circular spiral manner, to dance
Dagal
to flaunt, to raise a flag, to be conspicuous, set up with banners, cheifest
Gadal
to cause to be large, increase in estate, honor or pride, advance, boast, bring up, exceed, excellent, lift up, magnify, promote, speak proudly of
Giyl
a revolution (of time and age), exceeding joy, gladness, greatly, rejoice
Gol
to call aloud, a voice or sound, bleating, crackling, cry, fame, lightness, lowing, noise, proclaiming, sing, sound, thunder, voice, yell
Hilluwl
a sense of rejoicing, a celebration of thanksgiving for harvest, merry, praise
Kabed
numerous, rich, honorable, to make weighty
Kabod
splendor, copiousness, glorious, glory, honorable
Kara
to bend the knee, to sink, to prostrate, bow down self, bring down low
Karar
to dance, whirl
Macha
to rub or strike the hands together (in exultation), clap
Machowl
a round dance, dancing
Mangiynah
a satire, music
Massa
a burden, an utterance chiefly a doom, especially singing, prophecy, song, tribute
Mechowlah
a dance company, dances
Mizmowr
instrumental music, a poem set to notes, the word most frequently used for titles of the Psalms
Nacah
to lift, exalt, extol, hold, up, honorable, magnify, regard, respect, yield
Nagan
to thrum, to beat a tune with the fingers, to play a stringed instrument, to make music, sing to stringed instruments
Natsach
to glitter from afar, to be eminent (as a superintendent), especially of the temple services and it's' music, to be permanent, excel, chief musician (singer), overseer, set forward, used in the title of the Psalms
Negiynath
instrumental music, a stringed instrument, a poem set to music, an epigram
Paras
to break apart, disperse, break, chop in pieces, lay open, scatter, spread (abroad, forth, selves, out), stretch (forth, out)
Patsach
to break out (in joyful sound), break forth into joy, make a loud noise
Pazaz
to solidify (as if by refining), to spring (as if separating the limbs), leap, be made strong
Ragad
to stamp, to spring about (wildly or for joy), aloud, noise, shouted
Renanah
a shout (for joy), joyful voice, singing, triumphing
Rinnah
a shrill sound, shout of grief or joy, gladness, proclamation, rejoicing, shouting, triumph, singing
Rowmam
exaltation, praise, be extolled
Ruwa
to split the ears with sound, shout (for alarm or joy), blow an alarm, make a joyful noise, shout for joy, sound an alarm
Samach
to brighten up, cheer up, make glad, make merry
Sameach
blithe or gleeful, glad, joyful, making merry, hearted, rejoice
Sason
cheerfulness, welcome, gladness, joy, rejoicing, mirth
Shabach
to address in a loud tone, a loud adoration, a shout, proclaiming with a loud voice (unashamed), to glory, triumph, power, a testimony of praise
Shaown
uproar (as a rushing), destruction, noise, pomp, rushing, tumult
Shebach
adore, praise, to adulate
Shiryah
a song, singing, musical song
Suws
to be bright, cheerful, be glad, make mirth, rejoice
Taga
to clatter, slap hands together, clang an instrument, to become bondsman by hand clasping, blow a trumpet
Teruwah
an acclamation of joy or a battle cry, clangor of trumpets, sounding of an alarm
Zammar
an instrumental musician, singer
Zemar
instrumental music
Zemirah
a song to be accompanied by instrumental music
Zimrah
a musical piece, song to be accompanied by an instrument, melody, psalm

Phew!!!! Go for it wholeheartedly!!!!

Monday, 20 April 2009

Alpha - the beginning of something special!

We run a course in our church called 'Alpha'. It's highly successful and was started by Rev Charles Marnham. The name 'Alpha' was suggested by Tricia Marnham, Charles' wife. It started as a course for church members on the basics of the Christian faith but then began to be used as an introduction for those interested in the faith. Over 2 million people in the UK and 13 million worldwide have now attended an Alpha course, an opportunity to explore the meaning of life, running in tens of thousands of churches of all denominations across the world.

That gives you a little background info! Why am I saying (or rather typing) all this? Well I'm just back from our first night of our new season of Alpha (we've run it for many years) and although I've been to every Alpha course we've run at the church (and community centre) I'm still impacted by the truth of the teaching and the dynamic (yes, it really was!) discussions we have. This was the best first night we've ever had. People were so ready to ask questions, investigate this life of JOY I'm always bantering on about, share their ideas and beliefs and begin to dare to believe that their life has a purpose. I'm so looking forward to getting to know these guys in the 9 weeks to come. God is doing something really special and I want in on the action! (I'm right up in God's face!) What an amazing adventure we are called to live!

Sunday, 19 April 2009

EnJOY life!


It's Sunday - and it's sunny. I've had an incredible day today! I feel my heart is going to explode with JOY (ya see, God is faithful to His promises!!)
Let me ask you something - who does God like to hang out with? Who does He meet with? God meets with those who rejoice! He likes happy people! Isa 64:5 "You meet him who rejoices and does righteousness, Who remembers You in Your ways".
One of the distinctives (this is what sets us apart from the rest of the world) about the people of God is they are like HIM - JOYFUL!!!!
God is searching the earth for the joyful, singing, enthusiastic crowd who are happy. In His Presence is fullness of JOY. "Though the fig tree does not blossom and there's no fruit on the vine - YET will I rejoice in the Lord!"
The Bible is full of JOY! I've made my choice to be joyful - no matter what! It's my right as a believer and my strength when times are tough.

Saturday, 18 April 2009

JOY comes in the morning!


It's not often my husband gets sick - in fact very, very rarely. However we were up all night with many trips to the bathroom (you get the idea!) and here I am at 5am, wide awake after settling David back in bed (and singing him to sleep). I've discovered early morning hours to be very productive for me during the last year or so. My sleep patterns have changed drastically. There was a time you could not have fork-lifted me out of bed and yet now I manage well on about 6 hours each night. Ps 5:3 has become a favourite of mine - "In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."
What are my requests this morning? What am I expecting God to do for me? I guess ultimately I'm asking for JOY. Now I know you're thinking, "You have joy already" - yes, that's true, when I met Jesus I met with JOY personified. But unfortunately in this fallen world we live in, there are JOY thieves - stealers of our JOY. I've been robbed a few times lately - and I'm not a happy chappy! God has just been showing me how I've dropped my guard - there's a battle for my JOY!!! But hey, I'm aware now and back on guard and in the fight.
"Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." (Ps 30:5) What a great promise! I've cried many tears (especially yesterday - long story) but I'm sensing in my spirit a new day is dawning - and with that comes the promise of JOY!! Even now, I can hear the birds outside my window starting to sing their morning glory song - beautiful. I'm just going to stay here in this moment as long as I can -listening to my Father's words of direction, comfort - and we are going to discuss my day ahead.

Friday, 17 April 2009

The Disease to People-Please

An addiction is something that controls people - something they feel they cannot do without or something they do to alleviate pain or pressure. It comes in many varieties - drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, eating, work - and yes, even approval! I'm an addict - addicted to approval from others. Like any addict I look for my 'fix' when I get shaky. I'm learning over the years to stand on Eph 3:17 (Amp) - "May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love." My security has to be IN HIM, not other people.

There's no way we can escape 'pain' in life. But I'm learning it doesn't have to be wasted. After feeding the multitudes, Jesus told the disciples the gather up the leftovers "so that nothing may be lost or wasted". (John 6:12) I'm letting my pain be someone else's gain. During WW2, Corrie ten Boom and her sister were held in a horrible concentration camp named Ravensbruck. They witnessed and experienced terrible torture including starvation and nakedness in below-freezing weather. Corrie's sister actually starved to death. During their time there, they continually encouraged other prisoners and held on to their attitude of praise and thankfulness. Eventually Corrie was released through a clerical error.
After this she traveled the globe, sharing her experiences and her faithfulness in God. One night after preaching in Germany on God's forgiveness, she suddenly recognised a man approaching her. He had been a guard at Ravensbruck, and one of the men who had tortured the prisoners. Although the man didn't recognise Corrie, he knew she had been a prisoner in Ravensbruck. He said, "I was a guard there, but have since become a Christian. I know God has forgiven me for the terrible things I did, but I'm asking for your forgiveness as well."
All Corrie could see was her sister slowly starving to death and felt that she couldn't forgive this man. As she stood in front of him, she knew she must forgive him although she had no clue as to how. Everything she preached to others would be worthless if she could not forgive. She knew it would have to be an act of her will because nothing in her emotions wanted to do it. She told God, "I can lift my hand, I can do that much, but You will have to do the rest. You must supply the feelings."
As she woodenly took the man's hand, she said the power of God came rushing through her entire being, and she was able to say wholeheartedly, "I forgive you! With my whole heart I forgive you!" She said she had never known God's love as intensely as she did that moment.

The Bible says we are to be 'mindful' to be a blessing. That means having our minds full of ways we can help and encourage others. When our minds are filled like this, we discover we just don't have the time or desire to dwell on our personal problems. It then gives God the opportunity to do what He does best - work on them for us.

God made us to be a blessing. Start being what you were made to be and then we will start receiving what we are meant to receive.

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Stranger than fiction

Pain is a strange thing isn't it? I mean, my heart is in alot of pain at the moment but incredibly full of hope as well. Over the years I've had people come and go from my life - it never gets any easier but God has been strengthening me to deal with it. I can't hold on to people - not only is it unfair to them, but it's unfair to me. I have a heart and feelings like everyone else but I have to diligently manage them or else they would rule me. The WORD of GOD is what holds me together when people disappoint me or do things I just don't understand. It stands true forever. Thankfully I have a living, breathing relationship with God and He comforts me like no-one else.

I'm sensing good things are just around the corner - no, sorry, good things are well and truly already happening!!! (Yvonne and Grady always say, 'God is good to me', soo true!) I've got a wonderful husband and daughter, a supportive and loving family, a church on fire and taking back their community for the Kingdom, a great bunch of girls who I work with and owe so much to, enthusiastic and willing youth leaders who are determined to reap the many years we've sowed, and most of all a gigantic, awesome, beautiful God who I'm head over heels in love with (and guess what...he feels the same way about me!!!)

So, yes, this is a painful season in my life - but it's only a season. And if I keep my ears, eyes and heart open I can see the goodness of God all around me. Dare I say it? She who dares, wins!!! "I'M EXCITED!"

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Split Personality


I never cease to amaze myself! Just back from a wonderful rest in Donegal and every house I saw, I wanted to live there. I love being isolated, away from the crowd, just me (and family... or not!!) and nature. BUT, I also love the bustle of city life (especially Belfast) and the people I do life with. I like being busy, organising, talking (!) - but I also like those moments of stillness when you can press 'pause' on life and exhale. Am I a freak? Don't think so. It's all about balance. Don't get me wrong I love my life and try to guard myself against comparisons, regrets, wishful thinking - I know they are states of mind that are not good for me to nurture - and I know God doesn't desire for me to dwell on those things. I just enjoy those times in life when I don't have to think about how I look, or how others perceive me - the pressure's off (pressure I put on myself I might add!) and I'm bathing in the acceptance, friendship and utter enjoyment of my Creator. Maybe it's time I adopted a 'seaside' mentality in the midst of city life.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=23137&id=1150295147&l=7a6ad442b5

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Resurrection Power


Had an amazing weekend at church! Even more amazing, got in touch with an old friend of mine who I haven't seen in 7 or 8 years. While reading some of her innermost thoughts on her struggles over the years, I was inspired to get real about mine.

A few years back I suffered from black depression. It came into my life slowly, like a prowling wolf, inching it's way in. I've always been a people pleaser, wanting to be liked, loved, always worrying I had said or done something to upset or offend someone. Ultimately I think this was the open door for the wolf. I developed an eating disorder ( a cry for help?) and literally planned to physically disappear. I was totally convined this would be the best thing for my husband and child.
I got to the stage where I couldn't function - couldn't go into a shop, speak to people, think clearly - and I remember David driving me to school and the urge to yank the wheel of the car so we would crash into a wall was overwhelming. I prayed everyday, 'God please help me to feel normal'.
I sat in school one lunchtime when the class were having lunch in the dining hall, with a pair of scissors in my hand, ready to plunge it into my leg in order to feel 'something'. I lived in numbness. I thought I would never laugh or cry again.
I had to take nearly a year off work, ate antidepressants like smarties and knew the powerful lure of drink.

We think we know what people are all about and we have them labelled nicely in a box. Truth is, we don't have a clue what lies beneath. Isolation was my thing. Staying under the duvet for as long as humanly possible was a record I was determined to break. I don't know when exactly or how, but slowly the grey began to lift, and I saw God was there all along - loving me, protecting me, caring for me, healing me. It's been a slow, long road to recovery (and even now I sometimes sense the wolf lying beside me)Would I ever want to have days like that again? NO! BUT, it has added a richness to my life I never thought possible. There's still alot of change happening in my life but I'm no longer afraid of it - I'm starting to welcome it.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

EASTER PANTO - THE RESURRECTION!

HUGE invitation goes out to everyone and anyone to come to WORD of FAITH church Sunday 12th April for our dynamic production of 3 dead ex-mafiosa, who are now angels with an agenda. Visit www.wordoffaithchurch.co.uk for the lowdown. Come along for a great night - you will be warmly welcomed!!!

BLUETREE ROCK!!!

I just wanted to promote the amazing, anointed Bluetree! I've heard them many times and they just get better and better!!! Last night at the Stormont Hotel was incredible. I'm really looking forward to STAND UP on 1st May and the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of young people trapped by sex exploitation. Find out more by visiting www.exchangechurchbelfast.com and get involved.

Sunday, 5 April 2009

GOD IS CLOSE

“Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?" declares the LORD.
"Do not I fill heaven and earth?" - Jeremiah 23

"You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
…Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there." - Psalm 139

God is close. He is next to you wherever you may be. There is no place you are He isn’t. No place.

Can you see Him? Can you hear Him? The God that heaven and earth cannot contain seeks relationship with us! How does that make you feel?!!!

Thursday, 2 April 2009

Arise and Shine

I was at Covenant Love Church on Tuesday night for a time of prophetic teaching. The key scripture (which has been burning in my heart for a few weeks!) was Isaiah 60:1-6 “Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the LORD is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth. And deep darkness the people; But the LORD will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you.”
If ever there was a time for the church to rise, it is NOW. Fear, loss, depression -darkness is covering the entire world. We see it every day in various degrees. So this becomes the church’s greatest opportunity to ARISE & SHINE. The Lord will arise upon those who have ‘risen & shone’. His glory will be SEEN upon those people who ARISE & SHINE.

The glory of God is upon the church right now! God has a ‘BUT’ for every negative situation. I love our, 'But, God...'!!!